1. The Ego’s Purpose for Relationship
Often the ego will use special relationships to teach acim us lessons in forgiveness. Each time we meet someone in a casual encounter, such as the person sitting next to us on the train or the person standing behind us at the grocery store, we offer him/her an opportunity to learn about oneness or separation. This is true even for people we know and have had sustained relationships with such as co-workers or a previous romantic relationship.
The ego’s chief defense is the special relationship, and this offers the most imposing frame of all of its thought systems. It is designed to occupy your mind so completely that you cannot hear the call of truth. In it are woven all manner of fanciful illusions and fantasies, interlaced with dreams of sacrifice and self-aggrandisement. It is insane to protect it, as it is insane to protect separation.
2. The Holy Spirit’s Purpose for Relationship
The ego’s purpose for relationships is to sustain itself, and it sponsors special relationships that offer love and security. The Holy Spirit offers a different relationship that will support your healing, allowing you to accept complete forgiveness and experience the Truth of Oneness.
Christ inspires all miracles, which are really intercessions that join you with the Atonement in Him. They establish your holiness by raising you beyond the laws of physicality. They also keep the channel of higher to lower communication open for revelation.
Much material that discusses angels, Lucifer, reincarnation, karma, spirit possession, speaking in tongues and Christian Science has been removed from the course. This was done to allow a clearer focus on learning how to recognize the difference between the ego’s and the Holy Spirit’s Purpose for Relationship. To do this, we must learn to listen with discernment.
3. The Ego’s Purpose for Relationship
Whenever the ego enters a relationship it brings its special purpose to it. Its purpose is to maintain a false image of self and impose it on the other. This is why it is so important to practice forgiveness in every special relationship.
Its primary purpose is to keep you from hearing the call of truth. It is for this reason that the Holy Spirit uses special relationships to teach you what love really is.
The ego wants to resolve its problems, not at their source, but somewhere else. That is why it sets up a system of defenses to make sure that there is no way you can hear the truth about love. Forgiveness exposes this whole set up as the vengeance of the ego, and lets you let it go. This is the only true resolution for your problems.
4. The Ego’s Purpose for Relationship
The ego uses relationships to teach you to define YOUR OWN needs, and acquire methods for meeting them ON YOUR OWN TERMS. It is these needs which are based on guilt, and which cause EVERY special relationship to shift and change in a way that does not reflect love’s changeless nature.
The ego cherishes special relationships that sponsor its own survival, and devalues those it calls holy. It prefers a picture of reality it has selected to be real, and rejects everything that could be changed, as THIS would threaten its own existence. This is why the ego venerates errors in special forms, but looks away from mistakes that could be corrected. The Holy Spirit offers forgiveness to reinterpret what you have made, and to teach you the truth of what is really there. This is His function in ALL relationships.
6. The Ego’s Purpose for Relationship
The ego uses special relationships to reinforce its belief that it is alone in a world of changing shapes. In this way it attempts to keep its image of a brother as a body unchallenged by reality. It is in this distortion of vision that the ego seeks to establish its own identity, and in which it finds its stability.
But reason can see through errors, telling you that what is wrong is not real and that it can be corrected. This is why the ego fears reason.
The Holy Spirit teaches that ALL special relationships are learning experiences which point to truth. He teaches that when fear enters them, they are not based on changeless love, and thus they cannot be trusted. They need forgiveness to restore their reality. Without forgiveness they are merely illusions, not real at all.
7. The Ego’s Purpose for Relationship
Forgiveness is the key to true happiness and freedom. It’s a simple process that instantly brings relief when we let go of the belief that something outside ourselves can bring us joy and peace or take it away. The ego sponsors special relationships to sustain itself in the illusion of this world, and it is often painful when these relationships fail and break down. Betrayal, dishonesty, broken promises, sabotage and hurtful threats are all experiences that can arise in a special relationship.
But forgiveness is the only way to release them. The Holy Spirit offers true relationship as a substitute for the ego’s death wish, and it can only be found through practicing ACIM with passion and devotion. The mind that is ready will experience miracles.
9. The Ego’s Purpose for Relationship
When ego is running rampant in a relationship, it can create all kinds of problems. It can lead to arguing, fighting, and blame-games. It can also make it difficult to communicate effectively. This is because the ego doesn’t allow for empathy and active listening.
In the eyes of a wounded ego, relationships are simply recreational; they exist to provide entertainment, gratification, pleasure, comfort and utility to one’s life. They do not offer depth, challenge, greater awareness and growth or prompt a more examined, integrated and unified life.
Additionally, a wounded ego often does not have the ability to admit mistakes or apologize. This can be very damaging to a marriage or other loving relationship. However, there are some steps that can be taken to overcome a big ego in a relationship. For instance, true forgiveness can instantly alleviate some of the most troubling ego issues.
10. The Ego’s Purpose for Relationship
One of the key aspects of ACIM is that it teaches us to distinguish between the ego’s purpose for relationship and the Holy Spirit’s. The ego sponsors special relationships to maintain its thought system, which it believes is justified because it is based on love. Betrayal, deception and hurtful threats are the result.
However, the ego does not realize that this whole thought system is insane. It therefore feels threatened, and all its defenses are based on fear. Forgiveness is the only way to restore sanity to this situation, because it removes the threat of separation and reveals the truth that everyone is still one. The Holy Spirit offers a holy relationship, which is the true replacement for what was created by the ego. This is the true meaning of forgiveness. This is the healing that ACIM teaches.
